This was so creative and funny! But there are just some few things that weirded me out a little, which are very possible that I might’ve just misunderstood. For example, the first point about social media felt very unfairly passive aggressive. Women are allowed to wear whatever they like, and posting pictures about it does not mean they’re inviting sexual harassment in their dm’s. I feel there was a lot of passive aggressiveness towards the majority of women which, in most points you put out, was justified from one perspective. But it could be misunderstood as a hit against feminists who call out the very real patriarchy and the impact of sexism in our culture. I’m just not completely sure how to take it. I can see how it can be just what it’s probably supposed to be, a satire piece meant to call out an unfair stereotype. But I can also see a hint of passive aggressiveness towards women in general, especially feminists, which I am sure was unintended but I would just like to point it out. I really did like it though! It was very witty and showed a side of the story not often talked about.
Damn…. You have mastered the use of bullet points. And Roman numerals. And sentence structure. And some other stuff that is above my intelligence level. I’ve never witnessed a woman that you describe. And I’ve been around the world a bunch. Guess I’m thankful
There's really nothing that illustrates the problem better than women calling other women pick mes. And frankly, I deeply appreciate my male leaning audience. Call me a pick me for that I guess.
“Inability to speak with decorous indirectness. Rejection of feminine communication protocols.”
As a conventionally attractive woman, I get vilified immediately for asking a direct question in the company of PMC American women (this doesn’t happen in the company of PMC Eastern European women).
There is mocking of my tone, some kind of sarcastic comeback that has nothing to do with the question, moral outrage. It’s exhausting.
Isn’t it? And we’re not supposed to say that it’s because they’re less hot. But honestly that’s the reason. Attractiveness + articulation + precision = female status threat activated.
That was funny 😄. It sort of reminds me of the “acting white” applied from American blacks to other blacks that study and want to improve their position. Or a bit of “strikebreakers” in a different context.
Have you heard of a 'try-hard'? It's an insult from men to other men when you make an effort. I believe it is the male equivalent of a pick-me.
You get to hear it when you make an effort in games, in sports, in school, and in wanting to impress women. I doubt women hear about it, since women have been known to call Henry Cavill average.
I keep coming back to this article because it’s such a satisfying breakdown of the behavior…
Working in a male-dominated field, you’d think that would neutralize the tendency for women to call other women “pick mes” (after all, we’re all “male coded”); but conservative women openly discuss wanting husbands, so we’re a threat to each other both in the workplace, and after work.
Throw in the bisexual libertarian women that alternate between being aggressors and being feminine, and it’s a catastrophe.
Really, all Republican women are male-coded: We’re either analytical ourselves, or one the lucky ones who married young, and gets to parrot their husband’s analysis.
“I know what you are but what am I?” could be the retort. And if a girl actually is a pick me, who dons the red MAGA hat spouting Trumpisms just to get married, what have the rest of us lost, any way? Clearly, if he picks someone like that, he’s an idiot.
There’s so much here my brain had to bend, so I thank you for making me work for it lol. First, do conservative women call each other pick me? Are conservative women the pick me girls for liberal feminist women? I’ve never thought about the political dimension of being a pick me tbh. I thought it was an intra leftist fight. Another reader commented that if you’re an analytical woman, you’ll eventually think your way to conservatism. Still don’t know how I feel about that.
That’s tended to be the case in the past, because many Democratic schemes sound great, but after they’re implemented, data reveals they’ve caused more problems; so women who are more inclined to look at the breakdown of things, have moved to the right over time (now that we have this populist frenzy to cut the deficit, though, that might change.)
The “pick me” phenomenon entered TikTok, so it’s become part of the culture as a whole: Women to the left of me will say my entire personality is “pick me,” and further to the right, because I address that “trad” should not mean a refusal to participate in the labor market, I’m told I’m implying that they are “pick me”s.
“Pick me” in the greater culture, seems to have come to mean women who do something out of the cultural norm *of their chosen group*: In Conservative Christian circles, vocalizing being upset you’re not married, is “pick me” because the expected behavior is to say, “I am okay with God’s will for my life.”
In both cases, left and right, the women calling others “pick me” seem to be denying something about themselves, either they’re so entrenched in feminism that they’re denying they want to be married some day, *or* they’re so engaged in religiosity that they won’t address their own emotions.
(The catty stuff coming from the young “Turning Point USA” women doesn’t make logical sense, because they all want to be picked to be wives, so I’m not sure it’s worth breaking down.)
After all is said and done though, what the whole “pick me” phenomenon fails to acknowledge, is that women with any masculine traits, habits, or career paths tend to be friendzoned; it’s not actually romantically beneficial. My work or interests may lead to more male attention, but it’s the kind of male attention that ends up with me having to babysit one of my guy friends at the bar because he drank so much he doesn’t remember who he is…
I feel like the den mother to a group of delinquent Boy Scouts a lot of the time. It’s not fun
That’s surprising, because I’ve found that men appreciate women who have a reasoned head on their shoulders, so many appreciate my masculine coded traits. But I think if I consider it along with my obvious outward femininity, I can see how that might have canceled out the masculine traits in romantic contexts.
That’s good… Wondering if it could be location or education level differences? Or possibly a difference in what men on the right desire, vs the left? There’s only been one man who said he appreciated my mind, and he was an insensitive bastard that made me fall in love with him before telling me he was in an open relationship
“Patient must be stopped from self-actualization and personal advancement,” that’s really what it is though, anti-individuality… They’re the same mean girls, just with a new catch phrase.
This was so creative and funny! But there are just some few things that weirded me out a little, which are very possible that I might’ve just misunderstood. For example, the first point about social media felt very unfairly passive aggressive. Women are allowed to wear whatever they like, and posting pictures about it does not mean they’re inviting sexual harassment in their dm’s. I feel there was a lot of passive aggressiveness towards the majority of women which, in most points you put out, was justified from one perspective. But it could be misunderstood as a hit against feminists who call out the very real patriarchy and the impact of sexism in our culture. I’m just not completely sure how to take it. I can see how it can be just what it’s probably supposed to be, a satire piece meant to call out an unfair stereotype. But I can also see a hint of passive aggressiveness towards women in general, especially feminists, which I am sure was unintended but I would just like to point it out. I really did like it though! It was very witty and showed a side of the story not often talked about.
Good women are called a “pick me” (by feminists) the same way someone winning an argument (against the woke) is called “racist/bigit/homophobe.” 😂
It's unintentionally flattering to be informed that logic and the scientific method are white male thinking.
There is a,lot of mileage to be had out humour. Particularly when it puts shit on any one who richly deserves it. An FYI there is a long list.
This is hilarious.
Damn…. You have mastered the use of bullet points. And Roman numerals. And sentence structure. And some other stuff that is above my intelligence level. I’ve never witnessed a woman that you describe. And I’ve been around the world a bunch. Guess I’m thankful
OMG, this is good. What a list. Count me as one that finds all of this feminist-designated female disfunction as supremely appealing.
There's really nothing that illustrates the problem better than women calling other women pick mes. And frankly, I deeply appreciate my male leaning audience. Call me a pick me for that I guess.
“Inability to speak with decorous indirectness. Rejection of feminine communication protocols.”
As a conventionally attractive woman, I get vilified immediately for asking a direct question in the company of PMC American women (this doesn’t happen in the company of PMC Eastern European women).
There is mocking of my tone, some kind of sarcastic comeback that has nothing to do with the question, moral outrage. It’s exhausting.
Isn’t it? And we’re not supposed to say that it’s because they’re less hot. But honestly that’s the reason. Attractiveness + articulation + precision = female status threat activated.
That was funny 😄. It sort of reminds me of the “acting white” applied from American blacks to other blacks that study and want to improve their position. Or a bit of “strikebreakers” in a different context.
Oof! Never even heard the term (thank goodness 🤣), but that's me to a T. Except I decided not to go for the STEM career. Good writing - thanks.
Have you heard of a 'try-hard'? It's an insult from men to other men when you make an effort. I believe it is the male equivalent of a pick-me.
You get to hear it when you make an effort in games, in sports, in school, and in wanting to impress women. I doubt women hear about it, since women have been known to call Henry Cavill average.
I started laughing at “Prefers male friends due to internalized misogyny.” Thank you. <3
This was basically a satirical take on my own experiences as you might imagine
I meant to comment when I read this: this is super fun and relatable.
Amazing piece!
I keep coming back to this article because it’s such a satisfying breakdown of the behavior…
Working in a male-dominated field, you’d think that would neutralize the tendency for women to call other women “pick mes” (after all, we’re all “male coded”); but conservative women openly discuss wanting husbands, so we’re a threat to each other both in the workplace, and after work.
Throw in the bisexual libertarian women that alternate between being aggressors and being feminine, and it’s a catastrophe.
Really, all Republican women are male-coded: We’re either analytical ourselves, or one the lucky ones who married young, and gets to parrot their husband’s analysis.
“I know what you are but what am I?” could be the retort. And if a girl actually is a pick me, who dons the red MAGA hat spouting Trumpisms just to get married, what have the rest of us lost, any way? Clearly, if he picks someone like that, he’s an idiot.
There’s so much here my brain had to bend, so I thank you for making me work for it lol. First, do conservative women call each other pick me? Are conservative women the pick me girls for liberal feminist women? I’ve never thought about the political dimension of being a pick me tbh. I thought it was an intra leftist fight. Another reader commented that if you’re an analytical woman, you’ll eventually think your way to conservatism. Still don’t know how I feel about that.
That’s tended to be the case in the past, because many Democratic schemes sound great, but after they’re implemented, data reveals they’ve caused more problems; so women who are more inclined to look at the breakdown of things, have moved to the right over time (now that we have this populist frenzy to cut the deficit, though, that might change.)
The “pick me” phenomenon entered TikTok, so it’s become part of the culture as a whole: Women to the left of me will say my entire personality is “pick me,” and further to the right, because I address that “trad” should not mean a refusal to participate in the labor market, I’m told I’m implying that they are “pick me”s.
“Pick me” in the greater culture, seems to have come to mean women who do something out of the cultural norm *of their chosen group*: In Conservative Christian circles, vocalizing being upset you’re not married, is “pick me” because the expected behavior is to say, “I am okay with God’s will for my life.”
In both cases, left and right, the women calling others “pick me” seem to be denying something about themselves, either they’re so entrenched in feminism that they’re denying they want to be married some day, *or* they’re so engaged in religiosity that they won’t address their own emotions.
(The catty stuff coming from the young “Turning Point USA” women doesn’t make logical sense, because they all want to be picked to be wives, so I’m not sure it’s worth breaking down.)
After all is said and done though, what the whole “pick me” phenomenon fails to acknowledge, is that women with any masculine traits, habits, or career paths tend to be friendzoned; it’s not actually romantically beneficial. My work or interests may lead to more male attention, but it’s the kind of male attention that ends up with me having to babysit one of my guy friends at the bar because he drank so much he doesn’t remember who he is…
I feel like the den mother to a group of delinquent Boy Scouts a lot of the time. It’s not fun
That’s surprising, because I’ve found that men appreciate women who have a reasoned head on their shoulders, so many appreciate my masculine coded traits. But I think if I consider it along with my obvious outward femininity, I can see how that might have canceled out the masculine traits in romantic contexts.
That’s good… Wondering if it could be location or education level differences? Or possibly a difference in what men on the right desire, vs the left? There’s only been one man who said he appreciated my mind, and he was an insensitive bastard that made me fall in love with him before telling me he was in an open relationship
“Patient must be stopped from self-actualization and personal advancement,” that’s really what it is though, anti-individuality… They’re the same mean girls, just with a new catch phrase.