Lies I was sold about success as a woman

and some epiphanies

I thought success was about working hard and proving myself to people above me. I thought climbing involved mere hard work and job applications and that someone would notice. Obviously, this was naive. The more I tried to prove myself, the more miserable I was, and the more I blamed everyone else for my career stagnation. The insult on top of injury was that people did notice I was talented and could do more, but they took advantage of me because I didn’t understand my own worth.

There are men and women out there who will stand in your way, especially if you’re a competent woman. But the story is far more complicated than “women don’t climb because men are holding them back.” Clinging to it makes us feel better if we failed at achieving our ambitions. Success requires discomfort and looking in the mirror.

It’s no coincidence that I got increasing rewards and secured my position in the labor market after casting off feminism and social justice culture, finding religion again, and balanci…