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Alicia Diaz Gonzalez's avatar

This is so good 👏👏 The constant dopamine look can show up as spiritual materialism as well, where people use yoga and other practices to justify themselves and not look within. Most of the people I know doing ayahuasca in Peru are not really that interested in enlightenment. It is so easy to sell enlightenment as yoga poses, beautiful people in their 20s and abundance. No one wants to say that enlightenment comes with a lot of grief and shadow work.

Building a consistent spiritual practice is not for the weak.

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David Sasaki's avatar

This is a rich post with much to engage with. I admire that you go beyond describing the social justice culture and social media narcissism that frustrate you, and describe some of the practices(therapy) and ideologies (Hinduism, Stoicism) that give you stability and improve your relationships.

My impression of the Bhagavad Gita is a focus on balance and maintaining homeostasis. I entirely agree that most women would benefit from more reasoning and philosophy to control the sway of their emotions. On the other hand, I know a lot of men who would benefit from getting out of their heads and spending more time dancing, socializing, and appreciating aesthetic pleasure.

I also agree that women have born the brunt of the downsides of social media with the fetishization of youthful beauty, or “that Instagram face.” I wish we had better language around intellectual and artistic seduction. I’m constantly telling my friends that I have an intellectual or literary crush on so and so. It’s not sexual — they can be men, women, straight, or gay — but it is a kind of seduction. I would love to feel desired for something I wrote rather than a selfie.

In the spirit of balance, my concern with too much of a focus on philosophy and reasoning is that it can take us down a path toward solipsism and distrust, where we are constantly questioning ourselves and others’ motives.

Something I admire about both social justice ideology and Christianity (in theory), though I subscribe to neither, is their focus on caring for others. Or ideally: caring for each other.

Like you, I also grew up without recognition from my parents or family, which pushed me down a path of endless striving for extrinsic incentives. Philosophy and therapy helped me diagnose the problem. But only reciprocal social solidarity — mutual attention, mutual care, shared purpose — helps me transcend it.

As always, I appreciate you sharing your reflections with such honesty.

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