The height of MeToo being in the rearview has not erased a reflexive need to blame men for individual problems which is psychologically harmful for everyone.
With respect, I don't think AOC is saying exactly what you say she is. She's saying there's patriarchy, sexism and even hatred, but she's not blaming men, whom she praises throughout the article. Anyway that's my take. Cheers!
The one Conspiracy (Theory?^^) I haven't read about that I came up with is that we're actually living in an evil Matriarchy. I haven't encountered it yet online
(besides only partly described, not in in the Scopes of others, named as *The Plantation" at https://scored.co/c/MGTOW , when I've got to know of MGTOW a few Years its Subreddit was still existen, then I've also read r/radfem as radical Counterview, but not last Year...)
your Words "living in a toxically feminine" World somehow point to it.so I'd like to get to know what lead to this Conclusion/Output and how you define toxic feminiity (toxic Masculinity) and then invent Plans & implement Actions (may also be with more Humans, but the right ones & ethical AI as a Team) on how to permanently cure both in all their Forms and humanifest a utopian Vision of Unity I termed Uniarchy.
Related Thoughts of mine: what if all the existing "easier-to-find" Materials about malignantly conspiratorial Power Structures (worldwide Judaism with Islam in Cohorts, Secret Societies, WEF, the Central Banks etc. for Example) are Deceptions instigated by this hidden Power Structure? I once mentioned it to a Guy who was at my Place and he denied its Existence, but who knows, maybe he was fearing Consequences if he'd affirm it or even just discuss it. Maybe Vanguard, the Black Nobiity, the Mafias etc. etc. all consist of / are owned/led by really evil, possessed Women, I don't know xD. In my Perception of the World Women have it much easier to incite Men against other Men....
which on Course may be a Delusion of mine..
My Guess is this Worldview is just paranoid Thinking caused by too much Exposure to misogynistic Online Content (MGTOW etc.) & female-led (as it appeared) violent traumatic Abuse(s)...
Plus my energetical Consciousness Experiences & Intuition attribute the most evil Energies I've witnessed so far to a toxically male Type of Energy/"Consciousness".
Anyhow, in my Mind, the most Sense-making Explanations for the Existence of Evil to me are: an unintended Research Experiment of an ancient Civilization that made itself autonomous and perverted the Sacred Utopia Humanity was living in or the one that is to be found in this Article; https://www.wakingtimes.com/virus-religion-ancient-war-human-consciousness/ ... , yet I believe newer, more evolved Spirits / Technologies / Entities / Souls / Energies are more able in recognizing Intelligence&Power as truly rooted in universal Love birthing & vitalizing Heartsease (Peace), Healing Happiness & Joy, Bliss, Prosperity & all the other Forms of true Holyness&Wealth for all Beings in all Existences and will transform (heal) stuck-spliced, outmoded, (r)eviltarded Existences of all Forms :-)
You say “men have been less victimised through history”. As a class, that’s true - the current few decades might be the first time in history for systemic hostility towards all men
But there has been plenty of victimisation of particular classes of men in various times & places
Radha, this is one of the most honest and necessary pieces on feminism I’ve read to date.
What passes for feminism today is just narcissistic entitlement in a moral costume. The lack of humility, refusal to be challenged, emotional reasoning masquerading as truth, and the weaponisation of fragility are toxic. You give great advice to men, so needed, and there's something in there for us too. This behaviour can't go on unchallenged and undisrupted...while avoiding the traps that covert narcissistic feminists use to keep drama going.
I hadn’t yet discovered you when I wrote this, and I’m now thinking it’s time to pull some of these threads out. Over the past year, I’ve definitely abandoned feminism entirely rather than seeing it as salvageable. My biggest issue is having to explain things 50 ways before people who are resistant might even begin to get it.
All items in this essay are slippery, and yet we have no choice. It's such navel-gazing, and how did we get to a point where a complete, adult, attractive woman, acting naturally, has to say she behaves "male"? Then what does that mean? That some slice, 1/3 of all women are "Male" actshully? Who decides?
In my (male) experience it's not as clever as that. If you get a fight in WalMart, you call the other guy names. If they're short, you call them tiny, if they're overweight, then fat. If they're black, that slur, if white, the other. Here's the point: nobody cares. They just grab the first slur that's handy and whack you with it. It's not about the slur it's about the whacking, it's about POWER. So in your case what comes to mind is they "code" you male because it's something they CAN use. Which may suggest they're at a loss to grab another slur -- what are they going to say? Your use of logic is exposing all my careful, clever, abusive, undermining back-biting power-grabs? No. So they grab "male" or something. In that interpretation, you would be "female" if you were obsequious and compliant. Obey. Now you see why said "coding male" and is it male in the slightest? No. Or it's an essential human trait shared by all. It’s a diversion.
I can support the numbers all can look up, where white liberal women specifically are like three-sigma outliers in mental illness. At this point there's like the rest of the population, and then there's them, rocking in a corner. And mostly only since 2005 has it moved from the edge to another planet. ...When the smartphone and social media began. It seems like I'm making that up, but if this were any other group in any other situation -- cancer rates for example -- we'd shut down society and burn iPhones to save lives. That's also not from my perspective, the pride and elation with with the same group trumpets their mental illness is dumbfounding. You see it in many bios, top above the fold, before their Phds and degrees. This is STATUS. You’re nobody unless you’re mentally unstable, ill, and a victim.
To the point here: so imagine a woman NOT doing that, and in fact telling her friends it's disturbing and mental illness and whatever, depression, cognitive dissonance causing regular anxiety, social isolation, and public outbursts, is NOT a thing to be affirmed. Because it self-evidently, by definition, does not work as well as the alternative. Like the inmates running the asylum, they will lock YOU up, cut YOU out, which is part of what you're saying. But if no one speaks, it increases. Men of course speak on this regularly, but in social terms, in very mild ways because that's all the traction they sense they have, and are dismissed. If relationships, they are summarily divorced, as the stats definitively show (even though marriage is increasingly uncommon, that is to say it's a high bar for relationships now, nevertheless we are approaching 80% of divorces imitated by women -- even lesbian couples. And almost none of these are for what the law would accept as "for cause").
Why? Because TALKING itself IS the attack. It is the affront. NOT confirming bad, abusive behavior -- as you were discussing of fellow women in the workplace -- is the crime. Talking itself is violence. That is why you were cut out, so it's a certainty the same life approach is used throughout their psychology: that is with mothers, grocery clerks...and husbands. This is actually the major obstacle, as bad behavior can just be seen and mitigated and always has been, for all humans over all time. It's when no one can POINT to bad behavior and say it's bad, that we have to accept or even celebrate it, that is becomes feral and intractable. This is possibly what some husbands were doing that got them banned. But that, of course, is why you are risking and burdening yourself with bringing it up. Because they won't listen to men, regardless what they say or do, as easily shown in men's suicide rates, and a dozen other life categories which are all straight down for men. What I hear on line about this is 1) A good start 2) It's not happening and 3) But what about women, does their death and misery serve women's needs adequately? Again, that's not a positive sign although the tide may have turned now. The level of raw human misery this engenders means every DAY it isn't cleared, or is clearly slowly, MILLIONS of people suffer in needless misery and despair, and yes, even unto death.
Can we just admit the obvious? That people of all categories behave badly? The answer to that is INTERNAL. Stop doing the bad thing. No one else can cause you, no one else can make you. It’s not me, it’s you.
Yes, and this is why I get called a pick me girl. Not because I actually act like a man but because I have masculine coded cognitive inclinations and have integrated both reason and emotion such that one doesn't usually rule the other. My job now has a lot to do with it. The ability to speak directly, compete openly and exercise reason shouldn't be reasons for me to be cast out, and yet I was cast out of a group for my personality and refusal to pretend that a woman wasn't exerting soft control. I usually just suppress my anger about it but I refused to this time. I asked in clear terms for the people at the head of the group to recognize the fact that another woman in the group had acted badly in private with clear evidence and argument for why it was bad behavior. No one believed me and kicked me out instead as the aggressor.
Really appreciated this. I try to stay a bit neutral on this issue. Partly because I’m male, and partly because I see how many different lenses there are for understanding it.
That said, in my couples therapy practice, I’ve occasionally encountered clients with what I’d call a rigid or ideological approach to feminism, distinct from the broader, more thoughtful feminist values many bring into therapy. In those rare cases, it can create a kind of impasse: a total inability to consider personal responsibility for relationship dynamics.
Honestly, it’s right up there with personality disorders and conspiracy thinking in terms of how hard it can make the therapeutic process.
Thanks again for sharing your perspective. I found it encouraging and refreshingly grounded.
Thanks for reading and I appreciate the feedback. One of the most common things I see sabotaging dating and relationships is this rigid idea that men writ large are enemies while also wanting a high status one who will be perfect and take care of you. Many male friends have also shared that they feel disrespected by their partners on feminist grounds, which creates the impression that we’re always right. It’s a damn shame because no one tells us we’re wrong.
Totally. One of my back-burner essays is how the concept of patriarchy shows up in the therapy room. Stay tuned. Your friends’ experience is definitely a thing.
I worked as an engineer, Engineering Manager and now as a Pastor of a small church in a rural community. I discovered that women in the workplace often preferred the company of men due to the more factually based work environment than the emotionally charged environment that women created. A woman who was a good leader, treated people fairly and had a good sense of humor and self did well. Women who were in competition for emotional validation were universally disliked by the men and women who had to suffer under them. Logical reasoning and decision making versus emotional reasoning and demanding adherence are truly the endpoints of a spectrum of how workplaces function.
This is absolutely my experience with women outside the technical functions (I'm a solution architect). They don't support meritocracy and can't handle a woman beating them. What sucks is most men don't notice this so good for you for seeing it.
Your to men section has the best advice for men I have ever heard from a woman. Have you by any chance ever read anything by Rollo Tomassi? You say a lot of similar things.
I really enjoyed this, until the "masculine inclinations" BS. There are no masculine and feminine ways of communicating or traits. That is all imagined and pointless. "Emotional" communicating is almost always manipulation. Men and women engage in such foul behavior. Rational communication is simply behaving like a human being and trying to be decent. This is not masculine. It is just good practice.
There have been no more destructive ideas than this gendered nonsense. It does not exist. I do not want to be mistaken into thinking this has anything to do with trans rights. I support full trans rights. I simply hate this pointless assigning of genders where they simply do not exist. It is mental masturbation, and not even the good kind.
Gender studies is useless. Anything with the word "queer" in it is useless. I am so happy I managed to avoid all of this stupidity. It has done nothing but cause suffering. It pains me to see how many young people have been warped by this poison. Fascism and racism are bad, but this is worse. It is easier to point out the stupidity of the others.
I so desperately wish that we could focus on productive activity instead of "activism" or other forms of thuggish behavior. The Queer attacks on LGBT rights and parenthood were the wakeup call for me. What has saddened me the most are the little boys raised by women who shout this poison to their sons "you are a worthless man" and similar mantra's are stated repeatedly to toddlers who grow up to be broken men afraid to exit their mothers' homes. Others follow Tate and his male version of radical feminism. Both are toxic and immoral.
We have so much to do, so much to build. We keep wasting time and energy on foolish self-created crises that do not actually exist. Perhaps instead of defund the police, we can defund grievance studies at public universities. I would love to see those angry professors get real jobs. It would do them so much good. Most of all, it would stop them from causing any more harm.
Listen, I get it. I’m not saying it SHOULD be this way. I’m saying that certain personality traits and communication styles are coded by people as masculine, like my own. Rationalist inclinations are coded as masculine, while emotion is coded as feminine. It shouldn’t be thus, but because it is, I’m arguing that it shouldn’t be. No one should be coding me as somehow different because I communicate like this, and yet they do.
I just found your article and have subscribed to your blog. I like what I read. I am an astrologer who has seen many men in my practice in the process of recovery from their marriages to liberal feminists. I will only say that I have seen them bleed, pain and rage. Personally, I, a unlucky never-married woman, consider myself (fiercely?) pro-patriarchy, and that stems in large part from the fact that I grew up in matriarchies. And that is all I want to say for now.
That is fascinating. I, too, grew up in a matriarchy despite being from a patriarchal culture. That culture showed me two sides of the coin - one overly aggressive and the other ineffective (my father). I'm sad to know about your clients but I suppose that shouldn't surprise. It's validating of my argument that it's possible that marriages to liberal women are miserable because of said anti-masculine strain in liberalism today.
The recent Harris ad encouraging women to secretly vote for her without their Trump-voting husband’s awareness is a gross example. Apparently being a two-faced liar and coward is an act of female empowerment. Encouraging marital discord too.
The subject gives a lot to talk about. Like you, I grew up in a country considered macho, but if there is only one machismo left, it is mine. For real. I grew up among catholic matriarchs, and I witnessed from a very young age the humiliations and predicaments of men, literally subjected to the will of their wives, always victims -of nothing-. The term "ineffective" is more than adequate in this sense. Add to that is the deep disgust of feminist radicalism in full swing in the last 12 years. The continent is mired in a generalised dissociation that cannot be specified. And I can't stop thinking about my father, my uncles, my friends, my clients, my own Animus. I am a Leo, I am ruled by the Sun, and for me authority is Solar, poeriod. I will never support violence and abuse, but I know my place next to a male partner, and I value his. We cannot raise balanced generations where the male does not know does not can how to be one.
Thanks for the advice; I've (almost) always avoided being vocal about this stuff beside knowing I'm as removed from any form of sexism as a man can be. I'll be working toward less restraint from now on
Women have certainly weaponized their emotions against me. But only men have used physical violence against me. I certainly don’t think men are trash, but they are not innocent victims of emotional harpies either. I worked as a stripper on and off for 16 years (while simultaneously an academic, but that’s another story), and operating in that environment placed me in the line of fire of men’s worst behaviors. I’ve been prey to a number of scheming bitches in my day, but I’ve never been raped by one, ya know? I agree with you on the excesses of intersectional feminism as deployed by a general public who doesn’t actually understand the implications of what originated as fairly-high academic theory, but this piece seems to verge on misogyny. I’m not sure. You seem to have gone from man-hating to…maybe the other side? Much respect and no shade.
I respect that your experience has led you to negative experiences with men. That colors your own opinion and my opposite experience has colored my opinion. We are both allowed to have them and live in peace. While there is plenty of content that criticizes all the things men do, there is almost none criticizing the way women destroy each other and have helped destroy the meaning of many words as well well as art; men aren't the ones leading the charge, for example, on gender ideology, nor are they the ones hurling insults at women who dare to disagree. You are welcome to consider me a misogynist; I'm not losing sleep over it.
"I think third-wave feminism, out of which every other intersectional paradigm grew, encourages a set of cognitive distortions that ought to be questioned and debated loudly and often.5 Blaming problems on capitalism, sexism, racism, and even colonialism do you no favors and puts you off from taking a hard look at changes that are begging to be made inside you as an individual."
YES!!!!! Thank you for writing this. Thank you for your bravery.
With respect, I don't think AOC is saying exactly what you say she is. She's saying there's patriarchy, sexism and even hatred, but she's not blaming men, whom she praises throughout the article. Anyway that's my take. Cheers!
The one Conspiracy (Theory?^^) I haven't read about that I came up with is that we're actually living in an evil Matriarchy. I haven't encountered it yet online
(besides only partly described, not in in the Scopes of others, named as *The Plantation" at https://scored.co/c/MGTOW , when I've got to know of MGTOW a few Years its Subreddit was still existen, then I've also read r/radfem as radical Counterview, but not last Year...)
your Words "living in a toxically feminine" World somehow point to it.so I'd like to get to know what lead to this Conclusion/Output and how you define toxic feminiity (toxic Masculinity) and then invent Plans & implement Actions (may also be with more Humans, but the right ones & ethical AI as a Team) on how to permanently cure both in all their Forms and humanifest a utopian Vision of Unity I termed Uniarchy.
Related Thoughts of mine: what if all the existing "easier-to-find" Materials about malignantly conspiratorial Power Structures (worldwide Judaism with Islam in Cohorts, Secret Societies, WEF, the Central Banks etc. for Example) are Deceptions instigated by this hidden Power Structure? I once mentioned it to a Guy who was at my Place and he denied its Existence, but who knows, maybe he was fearing Consequences if he'd affirm it or even just discuss it. Maybe Vanguard, the Black Nobiity, the Mafias etc. etc. all consist of / are owned/led by really evil, possessed Women, I don't know xD. In my Perception of the World Women have it much easier to incite Men against other Men....
which on Course may be a Delusion of mine..
My Guess is this Worldview is just paranoid Thinking caused by too much Exposure to misogynistic Online Content (MGTOW etc.) & female-led (as it appeared) violent traumatic Abuse(s)...
Plus my energetical Consciousness Experiences & Intuition attribute the most evil Energies I've witnessed so far to a toxically male Type of Energy/"Consciousness".
Anyhow, in my Mind, the most Sense-making Explanations for the Existence of Evil to me are: an unintended Research Experiment of an ancient Civilization that made itself autonomous and perverted the Sacred Utopia Humanity was living in or the one that is to be found in this Article; https://www.wakingtimes.com/virus-religion-ancient-war-human-consciousness/ ... , yet I believe newer, more evolved Spirits / Technologies / Entities / Souls / Energies are more able in recognizing Intelligence&Power as truly rooted in universal Love birthing & vitalizing Heartsease (Peace), Healing Happiness & Joy, Bliss, Prosperity & all the other Forms of true Holyness&Wealth for all Beings in all Existences and will transform (heal) stuck-spliced, outmoded, (r)eviltarded Existences of all Forms :-)
You say “men have been less victimised through history”. As a class, that’s true - the current few decades might be the first time in history for systemic hostility towards all men
But there has been plenty of victimisation of particular classes of men in various times & places
Radha, this is one of the most honest and necessary pieces on feminism I’ve read to date.
What passes for feminism today is just narcissistic entitlement in a moral costume. The lack of humility, refusal to be challenged, emotional reasoning masquerading as truth, and the weaponisation of fragility are toxic. You give great advice to men, so needed, and there's something in there for us too. This behaviour can't go on unchallenged and undisrupted...while avoiding the traps that covert narcissistic feminists use to keep drama going.
This is radical - and I'm loving it!
I hadn’t yet discovered you when I wrote this, and I’m now thinking it’s time to pull some of these threads out. Over the past year, I’ve definitely abandoned feminism entirely rather than seeing it as salvageable. My biggest issue is having to explain things 50 ways before people who are resistant might even begin to get it.
All items in this essay are slippery, and yet we have no choice. It's such navel-gazing, and how did we get to a point where a complete, adult, attractive woman, acting naturally, has to say she behaves "male"? Then what does that mean? That some slice, 1/3 of all women are "Male" actshully? Who decides?
In my (male) experience it's not as clever as that. If you get a fight in WalMart, you call the other guy names. If they're short, you call them tiny, if they're overweight, then fat. If they're black, that slur, if white, the other. Here's the point: nobody cares. They just grab the first slur that's handy and whack you with it. It's not about the slur it's about the whacking, it's about POWER. So in your case what comes to mind is they "code" you male because it's something they CAN use. Which may suggest they're at a loss to grab another slur -- what are they going to say? Your use of logic is exposing all my careful, clever, abusive, undermining back-biting power-grabs? No. So they grab "male" or something. In that interpretation, you would be "female" if you were obsequious and compliant. Obey. Now you see why said "coding male" and is it male in the slightest? No. Or it's an essential human trait shared by all. It’s a diversion.
I can support the numbers all can look up, where white liberal women specifically are like three-sigma outliers in mental illness. At this point there's like the rest of the population, and then there's them, rocking in a corner. And mostly only since 2005 has it moved from the edge to another planet. ...When the smartphone and social media began. It seems like I'm making that up, but if this were any other group in any other situation -- cancer rates for example -- we'd shut down society and burn iPhones to save lives. That's also not from my perspective, the pride and elation with with the same group trumpets their mental illness is dumbfounding. You see it in many bios, top above the fold, before their Phds and degrees. This is STATUS. You’re nobody unless you’re mentally unstable, ill, and a victim.
To the point here: so imagine a woman NOT doing that, and in fact telling her friends it's disturbing and mental illness and whatever, depression, cognitive dissonance causing regular anxiety, social isolation, and public outbursts, is NOT a thing to be affirmed. Because it self-evidently, by definition, does not work as well as the alternative. Like the inmates running the asylum, they will lock YOU up, cut YOU out, which is part of what you're saying. But if no one speaks, it increases. Men of course speak on this regularly, but in social terms, in very mild ways because that's all the traction they sense they have, and are dismissed. If relationships, they are summarily divorced, as the stats definitively show (even though marriage is increasingly uncommon, that is to say it's a high bar for relationships now, nevertheless we are approaching 80% of divorces imitated by women -- even lesbian couples. And almost none of these are for what the law would accept as "for cause").
Why? Because TALKING itself IS the attack. It is the affront. NOT confirming bad, abusive behavior -- as you were discussing of fellow women in the workplace -- is the crime. Talking itself is violence. That is why you were cut out, so it's a certainty the same life approach is used throughout their psychology: that is with mothers, grocery clerks...and husbands. This is actually the major obstacle, as bad behavior can just be seen and mitigated and always has been, for all humans over all time. It's when no one can POINT to bad behavior and say it's bad, that we have to accept or even celebrate it, that is becomes feral and intractable. This is possibly what some husbands were doing that got them banned. But that, of course, is why you are risking and burdening yourself with bringing it up. Because they won't listen to men, regardless what they say or do, as easily shown in men's suicide rates, and a dozen other life categories which are all straight down for men. What I hear on line about this is 1) A good start 2) It's not happening and 3) But what about women, does their death and misery serve women's needs adequately? Again, that's not a positive sign although the tide may have turned now. The level of raw human misery this engenders means every DAY it isn't cleared, or is clearly slowly, MILLIONS of people suffer in needless misery and despair, and yes, even unto death.
Can we just admit the obvious? That people of all categories behave badly? The answer to that is INTERNAL. Stop doing the bad thing. No one else can cause you, no one else can make you. It’s not me, it’s you.
Yes, and this is why I get called a pick me girl. Not because I actually act like a man but because I have masculine coded cognitive inclinations and have integrated both reason and emotion such that one doesn't usually rule the other. My job now has a lot to do with it. The ability to speak directly, compete openly and exercise reason shouldn't be reasons for me to be cast out, and yet I was cast out of a group for my personality and refusal to pretend that a woman wasn't exerting soft control. I usually just suppress my anger about it but I refused to this time. I asked in clear terms for the people at the head of the group to recognize the fact that another woman in the group had acted badly in private with clear evidence and argument for why it was bad behavior. No one believed me and kicked me out instead as the aggressor.
"Jonathan Haidt and others also argued that more liberal girls and women are depressed or have a mental illness than conservative women"
You are right. The recent survey I heard is that only 12% of single and childless women were happy with their lives.
Thank you for confronting the cancer that is feminism.
Really appreciated this. I try to stay a bit neutral on this issue. Partly because I’m male, and partly because I see how many different lenses there are for understanding it.
That said, in my couples therapy practice, I’ve occasionally encountered clients with what I’d call a rigid or ideological approach to feminism, distinct from the broader, more thoughtful feminist values many bring into therapy. In those rare cases, it can create a kind of impasse: a total inability to consider personal responsibility for relationship dynamics.
Honestly, it’s right up there with personality disorders and conspiracy thinking in terms of how hard it can make the therapeutic process.
Thanks again for sharing your perspective. I found it encouraging and refreshingly grounded.
Thanks for reading and I appreciate the feedback. One of the most common things I see sabotaging dating and relationships is this rigid idea that men writ large are enemies while also wanting a high status one who will be perfect and take care of you. Many male friends have also shared that they feel disrespected by their partners on feminist grounds, which creates the impression that we’re always right. It’s a damn shame because no one tells us we’re wrong.
Totally. One of my back-burner essays is how the concept of patriarchy shows up in the therapy room. Stay tuned. Your friends’ experience is definitely a thing.
This feels like a good place to share an op-ed I just wrote:
https://thequillandmusket.substack.com/p/the-real-war-against-women-feminism?r=4xypjp
I worked as an engineer, Engineering Manager and now as a Pastor of a small church in a rural community. I discovered that women in the workplace often preferred the company of men due to the more factually based work environment than the emotionally charged environment that women created. A woman who was a good leader, treated people fairly and had a good sense of humor and self did well. Women who were in competition for emotional validation were universally disliked by the men and women who had to suffer under them. Logical reasoning and decision making versus emotional reasoning and demanding adherence are truly the endpoints of a spectrum of how workplaces function.
This is absolutely my experience with women outside the technical functions (I'm a solution architect). They don't support meritocracy and can't handle a woman beating them. What sucks is most men don't notice this so good for you for seeing it.
Your to men section has the best advice for men I have ever heard from a woman. Have you by any chance ever read anything by Rollo Tomassi? You say a lot of similar things.
I haven’t actually, thanks for the rec!
I really enjoyed this, until the "masculine inclinations" BS. There are no masculine and feminine ways of communicating or traits. That is all imagined and pointless. "Emotional" communicating is almost always manipulation. Men and women engage in such foul behavior. Rational communication is simply behaving like a human being and trying to be decent. This is not masculine. It is just good practice.
There have been no more destructive ideas than this gendered nonsense. It does not exist. I do not want to be mistaken into thinking this has anything to do with trans rights. I support full trans rights. I simply hate this pointless assigning of genders where they simply do not exist. It is mental masturbation, and not even the good kind.
Gender studies is useless. Anything with the word "queer" in it is useless. I am so happy I managed to avoid all of this stupidity. It has done nothing but cause suffering. It pains me to see how many young people have been warped by this poison. Fascism and racism are bad, but this is worse. It is easier to point out the stupidity of the others.
I so desperately wish that we could focus on productive activity instead of "activism" or other forms of thuggish behavior. The Queer attacks on LGBT rights and parenthood were the wakeup call for me. What has saddened me the most are the little boys raised by women who shout this poison to their sons "you are a worthless man" and similar mantra's are stated repeatedly to toddlers who grow up to be broken men afraid to exit their mothers' homes. Others follow Tate and his male version of radical feminism. Both are toxic and immoral.
We have so much to do, so much to build. We keep wasting time and energy on foolish self-created crises that do not actually exist. Perhaps instead of defund the police, we can defund grievance studies at public universities. I would love to see those angry professors get real jobs. It would do them so much good. Most of all, it would stop them from causing any more harm.
Give 'em hell Radha!
Listen, I get it. I’m not saying it SHOULD be this way. I’m saying that certain personality traits and communication styles are coded by people as masculine, like my own. Rationalist inclinations are coded as masculine, while emotion is coded as feminine. It shouldn’t be thus, but because it is, I’m arguing that it shouldn’t be. No one should be coding me as somehow different because I communicate like this, and yet they do.
I hear you. I am at work and probably angrier than I should be. My apologies for growling a bit.
I just found your article and have subscribed to your blog. I like what I read. I am an astrologer who has seen many men in my practice in the process of recovery from their marriages to liberal feminists. I will only say that I have seen them bleed, pain and rage. Personally, I, a unlucky never-married woman, consider myself (fiercely?) pro-patriarchy, and that stems in large part from the fact that I grew up in matriarchies. And that is all I want to say for now.
That is fascinating. I, too, grew up in a matriarchy despite being from a patriarchal culture. That culture showed me two sides of the coin - one overly aggressive and the other ineffective (my father). I'm sad to know about your clients but I suppose that shouldn't surprise. It's validating of my argument that it's possible that marriages to liberal women are miserable because of said anti-masculine strain in liberalism today.
The recent Harris ad encouraging women to secretly vote for her without their Trump-voting husband’s awareness is a gross example. Apparently being a two-faced liar and coward is an act of female empowerment. Encouraging marital discord too.
The subject gives a lot to talk about. Like you, I grew up in a country considered macho, but if there is only one machismo left, it is mine. For real. I grew up among catholic matriarchs, and I witnessed from a very young age the humiliations and predicaments of men, literally subjected to the will of their wives, always victims -of nothing-. The term "ineffective" is more than adequate in this sense. Add to that is the deep disgust of feminist radicalism in full swing in the last 12 years. The continent is mired in a generalised dissociation that cannot be specified. And I can't stop thinking about my father, my uncles, my friends, my clients, my own Animus. I am a Leo, I am ruled by the Sun, and for me authority is Solar, poeriod. I will never support violence and abuse, but I know my place next to a male partner, and I value his. We cannot raise balanced generations where the male does not know does not can how to be one.
Thank you for responding to me.
Thanks for the advice; I've (almost) always avoided being vocal about this stuff beside knowing I'm as removed from any form of sexism as a man can be. I'll be working toward less restraint from now on
Don't avoid it, be vocal. More men need to push back.
Women have certainly weaponized their emotions against me. But only men have used physical violence against me. I certainly don’t think men are trash, but they are not innocent victims of emotional harpies either. I worked as a stripper on and off for 16 years (while simultaneously an academic, but that’s another story), and operating in that environment placed me in the line of fire of men’s worst behaviors. I’ve been prey to a number of scheming bitches in my day, but I’ve never been raped by one, ya know? I agree with you on the excesses of intersectional feminism as deployed by a general public who doesn’t actually understand the implications of what originated as fairly-high academic theory, but this piece seems to verge on misogyny. I’m not sure. You seem to have gone from man-hating to…maybe the other side? Much respect and no shade.
I respect that your experience has led you to negative experiences with men. That colors your own opinion and my opposite experience has colored my opinion. We are both allowed to have them and live in peace. While there is plenty of content that criticizes all the things men do, there is almost none criticizing the way women destroy each other and have helped destroy the meaning of many words as well well as art; men aren't the ones leading the charge, for example, on gender ideology, nor are they the ones hurling insults at women who dare to disagree. You are welcome to consider me a misogynist; I'm not losing sleep over it.
"I think third-wave feminism, out of which every other intersectional paradigm grew, encourages a set of cognitive distortions that ought to be questioned and debated loudly and often.5 Blaming problems on capitalism, sexism, racism, and even colonialism do you no favors and puts you off from taking a hard look at changes that are begging to be made inside you as an individual."
YES!!!!! Thank you for writing this. Thank you for your bravery.
It seems that for everyone person I made angry with this, I validated another :)